As long as humans have used language, we’ve been talking dirty to each other. (And even before language, we were probably painting crude erotic art on cave walls and waggling eyebrows at each other over the fire.) From sultry love notes to phone sex to nude photographs, we’ve been finding ways to talk sex through the ages.
What Is Sexting?
In the 21st century, there are more ways than ever to express your sexuality with a lover, partner, or even a stranger without being physically near each other. You can write dirty text messages, send nudes or sexy soundbites at the touch of a button, and even communicate exclusively through suggestive symbols (looking at you, eggplant emoji). We often refer to these behaviors as sexting.
Essentially, sexting is any kind of sexually explicit message you send to a sexual partner (or potential sexual partner). This could involve sending photos and videos of yourself or even clips and gifs from porn videos. It can also mean writing smutty scenarios or even just reminiscing about that one time. In short, if it’s meant to tease, please, or turn each other on, it’s sexting.
How Common Is Sexting?
Sexting is growing in popularity around the world, according to a 2017 international sex study by the Kinsey Institute and Clue. The survey of more than 140,000 people in 198 countries found that 67% of all respondents over 18 sext. That percentage was even higher in the United States, with 74% of respondents self-reporting their sexting habits. The study also found that texting is the preferred method of sexting (65%), followed by Snapchat (38%).
Why Do People Sext?
If you’ve never sexted before or you’ve had an uncomfortable or unwelcome sexting experience in the past, you may be wondering what’s so great about sending or receiving these messages. After all, wouldn’t it be more fun just have sex? And if you’re not that into dirty talk, it may all seem a little…well, awkward.
To Build Intimacy
The truth is that for some people, sexting can be a crucial part of building trust and intimacy in a relationship, as well as communicating their sexual desires. Someone who is shy may feel much more comfortable talking about their sexual fantasies and preferences via text message rather than talking about them in person. It gives both partners the chance to think about what they want to say, set healthy boundaries, and explore their sensuality with much lower stakes.
To Spice Up Sex
Sometimes, sex with a long-term partner can get a little stale. Sexting can reinvigorate your sex life by building anticipation about your next romantic rendezvous and even serving as extended foreplay. You can easily spice things up just by sending a provocative selfie or letting them know what’s for dinner tonight (wink wink). It’s also a good way to introduce your partner to a new sexual kink of yours.
To Stay Connected
If you’re in a long distance relationship or are spending some time apart, sexting is a great way to stay connected to your spouse / sex buddy / on-again off-again boo. You might not be able to be together physically, but there’s so much you can do from afar—from controlling each other’s pleasure through a Bluetooth sex toy to sending them your most risqué nudes.
How to Sext: a Guide for Beginners
Sexting might be a little intimidating at first. Ultimately, you may discover that it’s just not your cup of tea. But if you’re feeling curious, a little adventurous, or are looking for that surefire way to get your FWB over to your place ASAP, try this step-by-step guide to sexting for beginners.
1. Consent, Consent, Consent
Nobody likes an unsolicited dick or nipple pic. Before you start sexting with anyone—yep, even your established partner—you need to make sure that they are open to receiving and/or sending sexts. Even if you have sexted this person before doesn’t mean you can spam their phone with racy texts or images. Be considerate that this person might be at work, taking care of their kids, with family, or simply not comfortable with random, unannounced sexts.
While you’re at it, it’s a good idea to check in periodically to make sure your partner feels comfortable with the kinds of images you’re sending and the type of language you’re using. The opposite is also true: if your sexting partner is making you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to set a boundary and say no.
2. Find Your Sexting Style
You don’t have to have authored an erotic novel to write a dirty text or two, but finding your sexting style can help you feel more at ease before you hit send. Some people like to write about specific acts or sexual roleplay. For inspiration, think about what turns you on about your partner and hype them up—tell him how much you love that thing he does with his tongue or when she takes control and gets on top.
Other people may feel more comfortable sending sexy photos or videos in their favorite lacy lingerie. Maybe your partner loves the sound of your voice, so you send them an audio clip of you talking dirty or even masturbating. Or you tell them about a new sex toy you want to use next time you’re together, or send them a description of a new sex position you want to try. Sexting can also be just as simple as an innuendo and an emoji or two—the possibilities are nearly endless.
3. Try These Sexting Examples
Feeling stumped? Not to worry. FunLove.com has you covered with a variety of sexting examples and ideas to get the ball rolling.
“What are you wearing?”
A classic way to initiate sexting.
“Lying in bed and missing you…”
See how easy it is? They’re already picturing you in bed.
“Just got out of the shower.”
Follow this one up with a steamy selfie. Towel optional.
“Remember that time we ______ in a ______?”
Sexting: it’s basically just MadLibs for adults.
“What do you think of this new lingerie?”
Send them a picture of just the lingerie to tease them.
“Sorry it’s taking me forever to text back. I’m only using one hand.”
Sorry, not sorry.
“Tell me what you’d do to me if you were here right now.”
And don’t forget to tell them what you’d do to them, too. You know, for fairness’ sake.
“Dinner is ready whenever you are. 🌮👅💦"
An emoji is worth a thousand words.
Take Your Sexting to the Next Level at Fascinations
Sexting may be virtual, but the pleasure is as real as it gets. At Fascinations, we offer a wide variety of sensual products to take your sexting experience to the next level. Whether you’re on the hunt for interactive app toys, some erotic reading material, or the perfect costume to fulfill your wildest fantasies, we’ve got just what you need online or at one of our 18 locations throughout Arizona and Colorado.
We’re proud to offer free shipping on all orders over $89 and will always ship your items discreetly. See our refund policy for details about returns and exchanges.
Have questions or need help finding the perfect product? Stop by one of our stores! You can also stay up to date with all our latest sales, promotions, and in-store events by following us on Facebook and Instagram.
