Prostate Play: Guide to Toys, Lubes, and Cleaning

Prostate play may seem intimidating to the inexperienced. Especially if you are uncomfortable with the idea of inserting anything into your posterior. You should know however that this form of pleasure stimulation is not just for anal adventurers. Nope, you can start with an external massage that targets your P-spot and work your way towards more penetrating affairs. 

Prostate play also provides a certain level of health benefits. So not only can you reach a higher level of sexual ecstasy, you may also release stagnant seminal fluid from the ducts of your prostate, relieve tension, inflammation and pressure in the pelvic area, increase blood circulation, and may help reduce the risks of prostate cancer.

Basic Personal Care Before You Get Started

Before we dive into the good stuff on how to find and pleasure your P-spot, we need to go over a few basics:

  • Talking with your partner
  • Anal hygiene
  • Choosing a lubricant

Having the Talk

Prostate play isn’t for everyone. You are better off seeking permission first by having an open and honest discussion with your partner prior to trying or asking for something new in the heat of the moment.

Discussing different sexual techniques (anal rimming, anal penetration, massage, etc.), comfort levels, toys, health, and personal hygiene best practices will also go a long ways towards building trust and deeper connection with your partner.

You can also read with your partner The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners written by sex educators Charlie Glickman, PhD and Aislinn Emirzian to help guide your exploration in finding fulfillment through prostate play. 

Anal Hygiene

In general, talking about poo and booty cleanliness is not part of everyday conversation. If it were, there wouldn’t be toilet paper commercials with dancing bears singing about shiny hineys.  

Despite this somewhat socially taboo topic, it is VERY important that you do talk about anal hygiene with your partner to minimize the risk of messy prostate butt play.

For instance, some people think that it is enough prep to just clean the outside of their anal area after having a bowel movement. For others, they prefer to use an anal douche to rinse out their anal canal too. 

Eating a healthy diet also helps keep things moving out and not sticking around, making for easier cleaning measures. Just know that bacterial and viral infections and parasitic diseases are transmitted via oral-anal, oral-genital, and oral-fecal contact, so it’s best to wash your hands with soap, practice overall good personal and anal sex toy hygiene before, during, and after sex to help reduce your risk of cross-contamination and getting an STI.

Know Your Lubricants

Since the butt is not self-lubricating, purchasing a high-quality anal lubricant in preparation of prostate anal play is absolutely mandatory. Repeat, you will need to purchase an ‘anal’ lubricant. Lubes used during vaginal sex are not as thick or slick and could result in friction, tears, and other painful experiences.

Next, you need to decide on if you should purchase a water, oil, or silicone-based lubricant. Your decision will ultimately depend on whether or not you plan to use a sex toy or not.

Water-based lubricants, such as Pjur Analyse Me and Wicked Sensual Care Jelle are compatible with most sex toys, whereas oil and silicone-based lubes are not. However, water-based lubricants tend to dry out faster than silicone and oil-based lubes and need to be re-applied more.

In addition to not drying out, silicone-based lubes, such as Intimate Earth Ease Anal Silicone Glide, are waterproof, hypoallergenic, and condom-safe.

Oil-based lubricants on the other hand should only be used with a trusted partner when not using a condom as they are not compatible with latex. Further, silicone and oil-based lubes are harder to clean up and may stain fabric.

Lastly, there are anal lubes made with numbing or desensitizing agents. Sexual health practioners tend not to recommend anal lubes with numbing agents during prostate play as it could mask a painful action that could be harmful to you. 

How to Find Your P-spot

Finding the P-spot does require some practice. One of the easiest ways to help you locate your P-spot is to first incite arousal with oral sex or erotic massage. Doing so will make your prostate begin to fill up with seminal fluid and grow in size. 

Externally, you or your partner can locate the underside of your prostate by pushing up gently and firmly on your perineum region, that area found between your balls and anus.

Internally, you or your partner will find your prostate by pushing a well-lubed finger or toy about three inches inside your rectum and then pointing towards the front of your body.

How to Engage in Pleasurable Prostate Play 

There are all sorts of ways to engage in pleasurable prostate play:

  • External massage by hand
  • External massage enhanced with a vibrating toy
  • Internal finger stimulation
  • Internal vibrating anal toys

Depending on your level of experience, we suggest that you start with finger play and work your way up in size to larger anal toys. You may also want to include anal stimulation in your prostate play by rimming your anus or simply adding different degrees of pressure.

You will need to experiment with different techniques to find out what gets you to the big O.

Just remember to be gentle, take it slow, use LOTS of lube, and follow any instructions found on the toys packaging to avoid any prostate or anal trauma. Also, if you have any medical questions or concerns, currently suffer from acute prostatitis, an enlarged prostate (BHP), or suspect or know that you have prostate cancer, please speak to your healthcare provider before engaging in prostate play as you could cause yourself harm, instead of pleasure.  

Ready to Play?

Now that we’ve the basics covered, let’s get to the fun stuff! 

We picked these five toys that offer a variety of options to match different comfort levels.

At, we aim to please—so if you have any questions specific to a toy’s features or lubricant compatibility, please contact our Customer Service department at (866) FUN LOVE.

Put a Ring on It

we vibe pivotPivot by We-Vibe is a hands-free, soft, and stretchy silicone vibrating penis ring that slides on comfortably to sit at the base of the penis and above the testicles. When worn facing down, the Pivot’s motor targets the underside of penis and the perineum. This toy has up to two hours of play, is rechargeable, and fully waterproof. It can even be used with the We-Connect app for shared control and to create a custom sequence of vibrations to enhance sensations in partner play—from anywhere.


Good Vibrations

zero tolerance the great prostate blueZERO TOLERANCE The Great Prostate is a remote controlled prostate massager with a flared based and gently arched four-inch shaft that is slightly flexible so that it moves with the body. The taylored design makes it the perfect prostate massager for beginner or advanced prostate play. This prostate massager also has seven moving beads at the top of the shaft that flick and tease, while the shaft can be set to seven independent and powerful vibrating functions. Zero Tolerance is a phthalate and latex free, waterproof, submersible, rechargeable toy made from luxuriously soft silicone. 


aneros vice 2Depending on how adventurous you're feeling, the Vice 2 by Aneros is great for wearing out away from home, or for a good old fashioned grinding session in more private settings. For more advanced prostate players, the Vice 2 has a larger profile for deeper, fuller sensations. Plus, Vice 2’s sophisticated ergonomically designed wireless remote offers total control of all 72 possible sensory experiences ranging from subtly flirtatious to exquisitely intense, to include: 2 powerful motors, 18 preset vibrations patterns, 4-speed selection, and a Joy Button for interactive command of vibration intensity. 


discovery my intrigueDiscovery by Intrigue is a silky smooth silicone prostate massager with pleasure nubs at the base and a 4 inch long and 1.25 inch wide ergonomically shaped shaft to reach the P-spot with ease. Just make sure that you use plenty of lube before you slip it inside and cycle through 10 powerful pulsating speeds that will surround your prostate and detonate an euphoric release. Or, take it in hand and apply it to any erogenous zone to enhance sexual sensations. Discovery is also completely water submersible, phthalate and latex free, easily recharged with the included USB cable, and cleans up easily with toy cleaner and a hot water rinse.


aneros helix tridentWhat do you get when you mix science, holistic methods, and sexual health? You get the famous P-spot massager, Helix Trident by Aneros. This ergonomically designed prostate stimulator is great for both beginners and advanced users alike. Helix’s angled head, thin stem, and tab arms, allows for greater pivoting mobility that massages the prostate all while stimulating the perineum and kundalini acupressure spots. Made from a firm medical grade plastic, the Helix is completely non-porous and body safe. 


In-Store or Online, Men Benefit from Our Assortment of Prostate Enhancements and Toys is your one-stop shop for all the prostate toys, lubes, cleaners, health supplements, and reading materials you could possibly want for mind-blowing prostate play.

Stay for the fun of it and shop online to take advantage of discrete and secure mail packaging and free shipping on all orders over $69. 

If you would prefer to view before you buy, you can visit any of our 16 stores located throughout Colorado and Arizona. See our refund policy for details regarding returns and exchanges. 

As previously stated, our Customer Service department is available to answer any product specific questions by calling (866) FUN LOVE.

You can also follow us on Instagram for special sales events and other sexual health and happiness tips and tricks.

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