Massage therapy is a growing industry in the United States. According to the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), 22% of men and 20% of women got a massage in 2020 (and after the year we had, 100% of us probably needed one). With ample mental and physical health benefits like pain relief, muscle relaxation, and stress reduction, you may have wondered how you can incorporate massage into your sex life. As always, FunLove.com has you covered. Find out how to give your partner an erotic massage they’ll never forget with this step-by-step guide.

#1: Establish a Sensual, Relaxing Environment

We’re all for spontaneity when it comes to wooing your partner, but when you’re about to give an erotic massage, it’s better to set the mood in advance. You don’t have to go all out with rose petals and aphrodisiacs (unless you want to...you do you) but spending half an hour or so tidying up and adding a few nice touches to your bedroom can make all the difference. Here are some tried-and-true ideas for creating an enticing atmosphere. 

• Start with a clean, comfortable space. Put down a few towels or a fresh set of sheets you don’t mind mucking up a bit (massage oil can be messy). Plump up the pillows on the bed so that your partner feels settled and comfy.
• Dim the lights. Kind of cliché, but it can help make the experience more relaxing. If you don’t have dimmable lights, you can also flip the switch and enjoy a massage by candlelight. Pro tip: real candles are great, but can be a fire hazard if they get knocked over or are left unattended. LED candles are a nice alternative—plus, you can use as many as you want without worrying about burning the house down.
• Cue up some music. Some people prefer ambient or New Age playlists like the ones you hear in spas to unwind and settle their mind, but you can think outside the box here, too. Depending on your partner’s preferences, anything from smooth jazz to R&B slow jams to some light indie folk might get them in the right headspace. If you need inspiration, check out one of the many sensual playlists on YouTube, Spotify, or other music streaming services. You can even create a custom playlist that builds in intensity over time.

#2: Gather All Your Erotic Massage Must-Haves

Once the atmosphere is just right, it’s time to break out your massage tool kit. Get this ready to go ahead of time so your erotic massage requires no interruptions or intermissions. Check out our recommended checklist of must-haves below.

• Massage oil or lotion. Massage oil is the quintessential erotic massage tool. In the most practical sense, it allows your hands to glide smoothly over your partner’s skin without any friction or resistance. It’s particularly helpful if your partner has a lot of body hair or dry skin. (You can also use massage lotion for less slippage and more moisture). You have plenty of options when it comes to both, from aromatherapy scents to warming formulas to lickable varieties.
• Massage candles. If you love temperature play, there’s a good chance you’ll also love massage candles.  Simply light the candle, let it burn for a little while, and then blow it out. The resulting pool of warm, fragrant oil can be poured, or you can dip your fingers right into the melted candle. Some varieties are even edible.
• Sensory toys. When it comes to giving an erotic massage, you don’t even have to start with your hands thanks to sensory toys. First, to ramp up their sense of touch, try having your partner wear a blindfold. Then use a feather duster, tickler, or pinwheel for whole-body teasing before you dive into the massage.
• Wands. Simply put, wands can do wonders for sore, tense, or achy muscles. You can incorporate the wand into your erotic massage super easily (not to mention give your partner a very happy ending). If your partner finds wands to be a little too strong, you can also use a bullet vibe for a less intense, pinpoint massage.
• Lingerie. A full body massage in the nude is sexy, but might we suggest starting off with a little bit of lingerie? Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident, but also one that will feel good on your partner’s skin, too. A silk chemise, babydoll, or teddy is the perfect complementary texture to go along with a full-body massage.

#3: Massage Them Like a Pro

You don’t have to go to massage therapy school to learn how to give an erotic massage that’s as relaxing as it is sexy. Follow these tips from start to finish to wow your partner with all the right moves.

• Start slowly, and with a light touch. Have your partner lie on their stomach with their head pointing towards the foot of the bed. Pour some massage oil into your palms and rub them together to warm them up before you gently spread the oil on your partner’s back and shoulders in long, even strokes. These are often the most tense group of muscles in the body, so it’s a good idea to spend plenty of time here building up pressure and intensity. Be sure to hit all the muscle groups, including their arms, legs, wrists, and feet. 
• Turn up the heat. In addition to toys, you can also use more than just your hands to massage your partner. Experiment with your tongue, lips, breasts—whatever feels good. You can even try a Japanese Nuru massage, a nude, full-body contact massage in which one partner slips, slides, and glides back and forth across the other, generating all kinds of new sensations for both.
• Tease them before you please them. One of the most appealing aspects of an erotic massage can be the slow build up of sexual tension and desire. Before you move on to the penis or vagina, experiment massaging areas adjacent to their erogenous zones. Try massaging or kissing their thighs, for example, or the super-sensitive backs of their knees. Or you can massage their breasts, stopping just short of the nipples. You can even ever-so-gently glide your fingers over their clitoris or the tip of their penis to really drive them wild.
• Give them a happy ending (or not). Not all erotic massages have to end in orgasm, but many couples find that erotic massages make for excellent precursors to longer, stronger, better orgasms. 

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