It’s an age old question: how long should sex last? From a biological perspective, sex should ideally last long enough for a penis to ejaculate so that sperm has the best chance of fertilizing an egg. But even by that reductionist standard, there’s too much variation—the amount of time it takes someone with a penis to orgasm can vary significantly.
To narrow down the parameters, a 2005 study consulted sex therapists in the United States and Canada to get their take on how long sex should last. Their conclusions? The most “desirable” time frame for sex duration is between 7 to 13 minutes. “Adequate” sex duration was defined as between 3 to 7 minutes. The study also specified that sex lasting between 1 to 2 minutes was “too short”, and that sex lasting longer than 10 to 30 minutes was “too long”.
How Long Does Sex Last on Average?
The largest-scale study to date on the actual duration of sex was published in the 2005 paper A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time (a sexy title if there ever was one). While the study wasn’t particularly inclusive (it only recorded data from cisgender heterosexual couples having penis-in-vagina sex), it did produce intriguing results.
Researchers asked 500 long-term couples to time how long it took them to have sex, from penetration to ejaculation, over a four-week period. The study found that sex lasted anywhere from 33 seconds to 44 minutes, with a median of 5.4 minutes. (Keep in mind that this study didn’t include pre-penetration activity such as foreplay).
7 Easy Ways to Make Sex Last Longer
At the end of the day, how long sex should last is up to you and your partner. Sexual practices are on a spectrum, after all, and your preferences may change over time depending on your age, stress level, libido, and a variety of other factors. Try opening up a dialogue with your partner on what’s working for you in the bedroom and what isn’t—and if longer-lasting sex is what you’re after, FunLove.com has plenty of tips and tricks to that end.
Sex Toys
One of the easiest and most fun ways to make sex last longer is to invest in high-quality sex toys. If you or your partner has a penis, you may find cock rings to be the perfect fit. Cock rings work by restricting blood flow from the penis, allowing for a harder, longer-lasting erection. They also come in a variety of different materials and intensities, from vibrating to non-vibrating.
You may also find male masturbators a helpful tool in prolonging sex. Not only can you use them with a partner, but they’re great for improving your stamina over time.
Condoms
The most important reason to use condoms, of course, is to help reduce the risk of accidental pregnancy and the transmission of STDs. But did you know that condoms can also help you last longer in bed? While some people don’t like the feeling of reduced sensation while wearing a condom, decreased sensitivity from wearing a condom can make your sex session last longer. If you already use condoms, you can try thicker condoms or those made with a desensitizing lubricant for extra long-lasting sex.
Delay Spray
Speaking of lubricant, there are various kinds of male enhancement topicals that can make sex last longer, too. Desensitizing sprays and delay creams or gels are easy to use and often double as lube. Many prolonging sprays contain the active ingredient lidocaine or benzocaine, which temporarily reduces sensitivity and can prevent premature ejaculation. Just make sure to follow the directions, as some delay sprays require application five to ten minutes prior to intercourse. (You should also make sure it’s condom, sex toy, and partner-friendly prior to use)
Edging
Many people practice edging to experience more intense orgasms, but this can also be a highly useful tool if you want to make sex last longer, too. The process of edging is pretty simple, although it may take some practice to get it right. Edging can be done alone or in tandem with a partner, whether you have a penis or a vagina.
The key to edging is to bring yourself or your partner as close to orgasm as possible without actually orgasming. Then, slow down the stimulation, switch to a different position or sexual activity, or stop having sex altogether. You can put the brakes on for about 30 seconds (or until the urge to orgasm passes) before resuming. You can repeat this process multiple times. For those with penises, you can try specific edging exercises like ballooning or the squeeze method.
Masturbation Before Sex
Although it may not work for everyone, anecdotal evidence suggests that masturbating before having sex may help you last longer in bed. Some people believe that by doing so, you can prevent a build up of sexual tension from causing you to orgasm more quickly than you’d like. Masturbating beforehand may help you to feel more relaxed, and make it easier to take things slow.
This effect could also be due in part to what’s called the refractory period—the period of time between one orgasm and the ability to orgasm again. For some men and many women, the refractory period is relatively short, only a few minutes or so. But for those with a longer refractory period, masturbating a few hours prior to having sex could prove to be beneficial in delaying orgasm and making sex last longer.
Sex Games
Another way to make sex last longer is to turn it into a game (no, not Monopoly, although that might just set a record for the longest sex ever). Instead, try romance or sex games made specifically with lovers in mind. From classics like Striptease Poker to new iterations like Connect Foreplay, there’s no shortage of board games, card games, and dice games to heat things up and keep them there for as long as possible.
Slow Down and Take Breaks
For many people, one of the most effective ways to make sex last longer is to slow down and take breaks. After all, longer-lasting sex is a marathon, not a race. Simply shifting your mindset may help you to remember to slow down and just enjoy every aspect of becoming intimate with a partner, from setting the mood with candles and pheromone-infused body fragrances to just settling in with your partner for a sensual massage or cuddle session.
Another important thing to remember is that sex encompasses so much more than just P-in-V intercourse. Making sex last longer doesn’t have to mean your penis never gets a break. With so many erogenous zones to tease and please, orgasming at the same time as your partner doesn’t even have to be the end goal.
That’s what dildos, strap-ons, and rabbits are for! Don’t be afraid to open up that line of communication with your partner—you just might be surprised what you discover about yourself and each other.
Make Sex Last Longer With a Little Help From FunLove
With the largest selection of quality sex toys, lubes, enhancements, and personal care items in the industry and more than 30 years as a leading retailer of sensual products, rest assured you’ll always find what you’re looking for at FunLove.com.
We’re proud to offer free shipping on all orders over $89 and will always ship your items discreetly. See our refund policy for details about returns and exchanges.
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